Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Topic Meeting, Funk, and Gratitude

Went to a 10:30 am topic meeting today; we talked about a story in the Grapevine about a guy who got sober behind bars. His message was that one need not be "free" in order to work the steps; that the program is available to all, no matter where they are.

I shared about how -- when I was in treatment -- there were rumors about someone using meth in the facility. I was so angry; I thought how dare she screw with my sobriety? I refrained from gossiping in treatment, so I kept these thoughts to myself. The following morning I woke up and realized that no one need "screw with my sobriety," that whether my drug of choice was sitting right in front of me, or 20 miles across town, I had to make the decision to stay sober. Alcohol is available everywhere -- even in jail, in the hospital, in treatment -- and the only way I could be completely cut off from my drug of choice would be if I were taped up inside a cardboard box. And if I were in that cardboard box, would I truly be sober? Nope. I have to have the choice.

I also shared about this funk I've been in... It went away for a few days, but it's back.

My fellow meeting-goers talked about going to more meetings, sponsoring women, taking a daily inventory, and increasing my conscious contact with my higher power.

I've been going to more meetings, but I have not been doing the rest. They sound like good ideas.

One day at a time.

Thanks to Jenn for reminding me to be grateful. I'm grateful...

  • ...that I allowed myself to be silly at the coffee shop today; they offered 10 cents off if you sung your favorite song. I sung Feel Like Makin' Love by Bad Company. They gave me 20 cents off.
  • ...that I told the truth at my 10:30 am meeting; I got some good suggestions.
  • ...that my husband is standing by me in my funk.
  • ...for my puppies.
  • ...for the blogosphere.
  • ...that I'm sober today.
  • ...for that tiny shred of hope that things will get better
  • ...that I have a medication appointment on Thursday.
  • ...that I have the opportunity to learn.

9 thoughts:

Syd November 4, 2008 at 2:19 PM  

Doing service work of some kind really does help. And doing a daily gratitude list is a help to get out of a funk as well. Hang in there.

J-Online November 4, 2008 at 4:03 PM  

Great Gratitude list! I love that you sang to get the 20 cents off your starbucks. Your song choice made me laugh!!!!

Things will get better sweetie. Take it a day at a time.

Kristin H. November 4, 2008 at 4:11 PM  

Good stuff there, J. I like your list!

Gabriella Moonlight November 4, 2008 at 6:48 PM  

And like all good things this too shall pass and you'll be feeling back to yourself in no time...although I so wish I could have been in the coffee shop to hear you sing!! How awesome are you!!
xo Gabi

AlkySeltzer November 4, 2008 at 8:48 PM  

When I used to 'get into a funk' I was told to "help another Alkie", not necessarily to sponsor one, that's almost formal.

Just pick one out of a room who looks like he's hurting (they're easy to find) and talk to him (or her!), or lunch, or coffee. ALWAYS I found that his problems were greater than mine, and so I forgot mine, at least they became lessened for the time being.

dAAve November 5, 2008 at 6:00 AM  

My experience is that working with others can take me far away from ME!

recoveryroad November 5, 2008 at 9:46 AM  

The following morning I woke up and realized that no one need "screw with my sobriety," that whether my drug of choice was sitting right in front of me, or 20 miles across town, I had to make the decision to stay sober.

Spot on. 100% correct. Hang on to that. It works for me and has kept me sober for nearly five years, ODAAT.

Great post. Thanks.

My nephew is out of immediate danger. Thanks from the family for your good wishes.

AlkySeltzer November 11, 2008 at 10:46 AM  

Hey, where ARE you? You've been gone long enough! And when you return, be sure to bring a note from your parents!

Blog police-a-roni

Patty November 24, 2008 at 2:58 PM  

Hey, just stopping by to say hello. Hope are well.