Sunday, November 16, 2008

Long Time No Blog

Why haven't I blogged in a few weeks?

  • My birthday - Last year my birthday was awful; I had some of the same feelings this year and didn't want to blog about them.

  • Schoolwork - Mondo amounts of homework and two presentations due last weekend

  • Depression - Blah blah blah

  • Illness - My husband gave me a cold (One of my AA buds said, "Don't say he never gave you anything!")

Things are looking up... The end of the semester is almost here, my presentations are complete, I made a dent in my backlog of homework, and the depression has lifted.

Right now I'm in a coffee shop near my therapist's office. I'm having a breakfast focaccia and just chilling. Not sure what has changed and going into another depression scares me. I don't like the feeling of slipping down; what's worse, the mean girl in my head starts disparaging me.

One of the presentation I did involved two other students... our group was well-prepared, our PowerPoint was beautiful, and we kept it short (especially in comparison to the other groups). In celebration, we went out for sushi on Saturday night. So much fun. All three of us are sober and going into the same field (Alcohol & Drug Counseling). I'm 40, "Ari" is in his 50s, and "Julie" is 27.

Julie and I have bonded. We have similar personalities and senses of humor... She is hilarious! And what a knockout. Slim, olive skin, and long, straight dark hair. Her face reminds me of Anime... She can get that doe-eyed sad look and the crazy wall-eyed look... I keep looking for an example of the wall-eyed look on the Internet. The look I'm describing is a tooth-clenching grimace with eyes going in two different directions... Does anyone know what I mean? I probably sound nuts. ::sigh::

Well, I gotta eat my focaccia. Hugs to everyone; especially those of you who wrote when I was absent.


7 thoughts:

J-Online November 26, 2008 at 2:25 PM  

I'm glad you posted. I understand how depression can effect every aspect of one's life. Been there MANY times and I think the holidays are especially hard. Glad you are feeling better. Happy Thanksgiving and Welcome Back!

Anonymous November 29, 2008 at 8:14 PM  

Hi! Hope you are doing well. I find myself in a similar funk too. One more week of school here. HIP HIP HORRAY!!!!!!!

Unknown November 30, 2008 at 4:17 PM  

I have most definitely missed you and glad you are well, exceptionally busy, but well.

I hope your holiday was great!

Many hugs,

~Tyra~ December 5, 2008 at 9:56 AM  

Glad you are well.

molly December 10, 2008 at 6:35 PM  

hiya jubilant - this time of year is PRIME for depression - not enough sunlight and the weather isn't so great. exercise helps a LOT! however, when i used to get depressed, exercising was the last thing i wanted to do. took an act of will really. i hope you feel better.

i recently began meditating with holosync ( - i THINK) and i've seen many benefits from it. i'm on day 30 or so and quit taking anti-depressant medication. cool!!

i don't recommend holosync until after step 7 though for sure but i think you've been sober a while.. i'll have to read more of your blog.

take good care :)

Chris January 15, 2009 at 3:00 PM  

Hey!!! How are you!?! I haven't been blogging too much or reading much others lately. I found your new blog finally! LOL I hope the new year is treating you well!

die Frau January 21, 2009 at 9:10 AM  

We're still here--I write that not to pressure you but to reassure you.

I know the anime face you speak of. It usually involves lines radiating out from the face to highlight the craziness. Sometimes I want to make that face myself....