Sunday, July 24, 2011

Weekend in the Middle

So my mom came to visit a couple of months ago and challenged me, at 6.5 years of sobriety, to get into the middle of AA (she has 19 years). So I upped the meetings, got a sponsor, and found a home group. I have a service commitment at my AA group (greeter coordinator) and am currently sponsoring three women.

The honesty talk went really well. Kristin H. of Jilli Java & The Garden of Eden suggested that I share something to get the ball rolling... I thought of an old lie, but when it came time to talk my higher power prompted me to give a more recent example.

The example: A couple of weekends ago I felt overwhelmed by the commitments I've made. Meetings, meeting with my sponsor, meeting with my sponsees... I became scared and depressed. So I called in sick. I didn't join the group who took a meeting to a local treatment center. I didn't pick up my friend for a meeting. I didn't meet with my sponsee. All of these people, plus my sponsor, thought I was ill for three days.

After giving my little talk and sharing that, I heard a lot of great things. A couple of people in my break-out group admitted to some pretty embarrassing lies... Cathartic.

So since I shared this lie in the meeting, I had to come clean with all the people to whom I lied. It wasn't fun, but my sponsor thought it was hilarious. She laughed at me and told me that she would be less easily put off the next time I say I'm sick. I talked with my sponsee today; she completely understood. I still need to make amends to the coordinator of the trip to the treatment center (who I suspect saw through my bullshit in the first place) and to my friend who missed a meeting because of me. Next time, I will immediately contact my sponsor in order to talk about the feelings that make me want to call in sick.

Next post: Lions and Tigers and Sponsees... Oh My!

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